I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
