"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
operation have a gay friend backfired
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
