I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
