i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
