idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
