The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize