I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
