its not stalking. its research.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
