Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
