Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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