I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
