She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize