so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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