You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
