That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dick very happy bro
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
