I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
