By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
