Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
