I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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