the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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