just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
