So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
