so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
third nipple confirmed
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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