If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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