I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
