Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize