Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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