I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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