the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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