just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
