We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
