please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
