True but thats because hes a fetus.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
