But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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