You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
