So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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