Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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