Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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