You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
