i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
