I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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