doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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