so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
