He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think my vagina is haunted
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
