Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
