the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
