The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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