I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
