Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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