You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
