Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
