He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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