I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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