i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
is it fun? or sober?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
