Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
