can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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