Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize