Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
