you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
