i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
