your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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