Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
