i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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